I am 18 years old. I live with my dad and my stepmother. I hate my stepmother. Think of her as the stepmother from “Cinderella” and multiply that by 10.
I will be starting college next fall. I want to go away to school, so that I can escape. My stepmother is driving me crazy.
My dad does not know how I feel. I would not want to hurt him.
My dad and my stepmom are good for each other, I admit. But my step mom and I are like oil and water.
If I go away to school, that obviously means that I will leave my dad. I think that he will be OK with the idea, but I am not positive. I know that we will really miss each other.
I haven’t told him about my plans yet. Of course, I haven’t told my step mom either, but then I rarely tell her anything about my personal life anyway.
How do I tell my dad about my plans? Do you think that I should tell him that I want to leave because of my step mom? Am I wrong to want to get away from home?
Signed, Daddy’s Girl
Dear Daddy’s Girl,
No, it is not wrong that you want to go away to college. Since you feel the way that you do about your stepmom, it is probably best for both of you.
Putting some time and distance between the two of you may give you some perspective that you do not have now. You may actually end up having a better relationship with her.
There is no reason to tell your dad the reason that you want to go away. First of all, he may be more aware about the relationship between you and your step mom then you know.
If he is not aware of your feelings, I cannot see a reason for you to tell him.
So, go ahead and go. Just tell your dad that you are ready to try your wings, and that you would like the experience of going away to school.
Finally, whether you ultimately go away, or stay home, please try to see some of the issues between you from your step mom’s point of view.
It is not easy to try to give guidance and direction to an 18-year-old girl that is a stepdaughter. It is quite likely she is aware of your hurt feelings and resentment, even if your dad is not.
If you will try to meet her half way, and have some empathy for her, the situation between the two of you may improve.
I currently work as a server in a nice restaurant in Orange County. The tips are great, but that is the only thing that I like about my job.
I dislike the management, my direct boss, and the hours that I work. I like a few of the other servers that work there, but some of them are dumb, and some of them are catty, and some of them are boring.
I keep telling myself that I should quit and get a new job. However, I can’t find anything that I like to do that pays as much as serving tables does.
I am a young college student that needs money. I don’t know if I should stick it out, or find a new job.
What do you think that I should do?
Signed, Bored Server
Dear Bored Server,
I think that you should continue to work there.
More and more young people are of the impression that work is supposed to be entertaining, interesting and fun. This is simply not always the case.
You are learning a great deal. First of all, you are learning that work is not always fun. Secondly, you are learning that you may not always like your boss or your coworkers. Third, you are learning that it is not easy to make a living wage.
These are excellent lessons for you. When you get your first full time job out of college, these lessons can be very helpful.
So, put a smile on your face, and be the best server that you can be. Try to find ways to enjoy yourself.
It can be by knowing that you made a customer’s experience more pleasant. It can be by knowing that you helped a coworker that was overworked. It can be by knowing that you just did a really good job that day.
And, when all is said and done, you can be proud that you really earned your paycheck, and did not just drift through the work shift.
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