Dear Marilyn,
I have been employed at the company that I work for about 2 years. I haven’t had a raise since the first year.
I think that I deserve one, but I don’t know how to ask for it. I don’t know how I should start a conversation with my boss about it.
Many times he is very busy, and I don’t want to interrupt him. Sometimes he is in a bad mood.
Since the economy is in it’s current condition, I don’t know whether I should broach the subject or not. I don’t want to push my luck. But, I don’t want to be a pushover either.
How do I go about asking the boss for a raise?
Signed, Concerned Employee
Dear Concerned Employee,
It is perfectly reasonable that you want to know what your employer’s compensation policy is. After two years there, since you still don’t know, you absolutely should ask questions and get an understanding of it.
So, the first thing that you want to do is set a time to speak to your boss. When he is not busy, just let him know that you have some questions about the job, and that you’d like to set a time to talk to him about it.
If he says that the current time is fine, good. If he sets an appointment that is within the next week, then that is great as well.
When you have the meeting, don’t start by asking for a raise. Instead, let him know that you are unclear as to the compensation policy there. Ask him if there are formal progress reviews each year.
Once he answers that question, then you can determine if you should request a raise now, or wait until you have the formal review.
If your employer does not give out formal reviews, then go ahead and ask him right then for feedback as to how you are doing. Also, ask him when you can expect to get your next raise.
Hopefully the conversation will go well, and you will be satisfied with the response. If you are not, then you will need to determine if you want to start looking for employment elsewhere, or if you are satisfied with things as they are.
No matter what the results are, this is a conversation that you definitely need to be having. Good luck.
Dear Marilyn,
My sister is almost 17. She has no social life.
She doesn’t take care of her appearance, she doesn’t like to shop, and she has very few friends. It seems that all that she does is to play computer games.
I am afraid that she isn’t growing up and getting out of her phase of immaturity.
I have invited her to hang out with my friends, who are a few years older, but she has no interest in being with us.
Is her behavior normal? What can I do to help her out?
Signed, Concerned Big Brother
Dear Concerned Big Brother,
It is really nice that you would like to help your little sister. However, don’t be too concerned.
Everyone matures at a different time in their lives. Some girls are interested in shopping and wearing make up at early ages, and others are “late bloomers”.
She is not even 17 yet. She may not have a lot of confidence. Or, she may not yet be interested in doing much more than staying home in the safety of her room.
Continue to ask her to join you and your friends, and let her know that she is always welcome to hang out with you. I suspect that at some point she will take you up on it.
But for now, just relax, and be the caring and supportive big brother that you are. When she is ready to come out of her shell, she will let you know. You can continue to encourage her, but the decision will be hers to make, not yours.
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