Dear Marilyn,
I am a 20-year-old college student. I am dating a 26- year old guy. Our relationship is the best that I’ve ever had with anyone. I can honestly say that I am falling in love.
The problem is that he is at the point in his life that he is ready to settle down and have a child.
I am only just beginning to get a taste of the world. Although I am certainly not a partier, I am definitely not ready to be a mother.
I don’t want to break up with him. He is the most incredible guy that I have ever met. I love the way that he treats me, and I’m blown away by how great he is to his family and to all of our friends.
Most of the guys I’ve known are much more self-centered. He is one in a million.
I’m terrified since we are at two different places in our lives. I’m so afraid that things won’t work out. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want a child right now.
What do you suggest that I do?
Signed, Not Ready
Dear Not Ready,
I suggest that you have a heart to heart talk with your one in a million guy. Let him know that you are not yet ready to start a family and be a mom.
I know that you don’t want to take a chance on losing him. However, you must be honest with him. Hopefully he will understand.
If he is truly in love with you, he will wait for you. If he says that he can’t wait, then you must end the relationship.
Under no circumstances should you have a baby before you are emotionally and financially ready for the responsibility of caring for the child.
I hope that he will understand, and be willing to wait for you, and the correct time for both of you. He is obviously a very family oriented guy.
I suspect that he will know that the best thing for the two of you is to wait until the time is right for you to have a home and family.
Dear Marilyn,
I am a sophomore in college and lately I have been contemplating switching my major. I am currently a journalism major.
However, I have realized that I no longer have the drive and desire to pursue a career in journalism. I see no point in sticking with a major that I am no longer satisfied with.
I have strongly been considering transferring to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, with the goal of majoring in visual communications.
However, my mother strongly disapproves of my decision. First, she is afraid that I will eventually regret it if I switch my major from journalism to visual communications.
Secondly, she does not think that a career in visual communications will be very stable, and will not guarantee me a job.
I know that my mother wants what is best for me. How can I convince her that I no longer want to pursue a career in something that I have no passion for, and no longer interests me?
Signed, I Have A New Dream
Dear I Have A New Dream,
You may not be able to convince her. And, it is possible that the Fashion Institute is not the best course of action for you. But you won’t know unless you try.
As you grow up, you should start making more and more of your own life decisions. You should become independent and stand on your own two feet.
Of course you will always be interested in you mother’s opinion, but when it comes right down to it, the final decisions should be your own.
In this case, if you have a love and affinity for learning about visual communications, then that is what you should do.
Of course, you should research the school and the courses, and make sure that is what you really want to do. If it is, then follow your dream, whether your mom agrees with you or not.
As a practical matter, the field of journalism is greatly changing due to the Internet, and the availability of on line news. Therefore, there is no guarantee that even if you were to stay with her choice for you that it would lead to a more stable or secure job.
The fact is there is no way to know which career will be more stable. However, you should take a course of study that you are interested in, and that you have a passion for.
Let your mom know that you love her, but that you are going to the new school.
Then, good luck to you. Follow your dream. I hope you have a very exciting and fulfilling career.
Dear Readers, please send your letters to Dear Marilyn c/o Garden Grove Journal, 12866 Main St. #203, Garden Grove, Ca. 92840. Or send me an email at mtortolano@ggjournal.com.
