Dear Marilyn,
My parents have decided that they want to move to Idaho. I am in my second year of college, and I live with them.
I can’t bear the thought of having to leave my hometown, or the house that I’ve grown up in, or all of my friends. I don’t want to start all over again in a new state.
However, at the same time, I can’t stand the thought of leaving my family. Also, I’m not sure where I would live if I stay here.
As I mentioned, I am a student, and although I have a part time job, I don’t make enough to live on my own. So, moving out isn’t really an option.
I have a few friends who say that I can live with them, but since I wouldn’t be paying my share of their rent, I’m not sure it’s a good idea.
My grandmother has offered to let me stay with her. I’m leaning towards that idea, but I’m not sure if we would do well living together.
Please help me out! I’m very confused. Do you think that I should move with my parents, or stay with my grandmother and continue my life here?
I would appreciate any advice that you can give to me.
Signed, California Girl
Dear California Girl,
There is no way around it. Unless your parents decide not to move, you are in for some major changes in your life. These changes are being pushed on you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing for you.
First of all, remember that whichever decision that you make, it does not have to be a permanent one. If you don’t like your living situation, then you can always try the alternative one.
Since you do not view moving away as something that you want to do, then my suggestion is that you stay here. Your roots are here. Your friends, school and job are here.
I agree with you that moving in with your friends, but not paying your share of the rent is asking for trouble in the long run.
Moving in with your grandmother might be good for both of you. You may be able to form an even closer bond.
If living together proves difficult, however, than you may want to try moving back to Idaho and giving that alternative a try.
You may find it exciting to be in a new place, after all. You will want to be open to the new experiences that this change could bring to you.
Which ever option you end up choosing, remember that you will be as happy as you decide to me. You are ultimately in charge of how you view your circumstances in your life.
Dear Marilyn,
I am the kind of person that does not like to repeat myself. Either you heard me when I said something, or you didn’t.
I really hate it when people ask me to repeat myself. I don’t like it!
Sometimes my friends tell me that I have a bad attitude when they ask me to tell them something a second time, but it’s not my fault. It’s just how I am.
So, my question to you is, do you think that I am right, or that my friends are right? If they would just listen to me in the first place, this wouldn’t be happening. I need a little advice, please.
Signed, Repeating Is Not For Me
Dear Repeating Is Not For Me,
I’m sorry, but I agree with your friends. What you are describing is unkind and rude. It is arrogant for you to think that you should not have to repeat yourself. Everyone doesn’t always understand or remember something that they have been told.
For you to say “it’s just how you are” is silly. No, it’s not. It’s how you choose to be.
So, from now on, choose to be gracious and kind. If someone asks you about something that you have told him or her before, just tell him or her again. Don’t make a big deal out of it.
You will be a happier person in the long run, if you change your attitude about this issue.
Dear Readers, please send your questions to: Dear Marilyn, c/o Garden Grove Journal, 12866 Main St. #203, Garden Grove, Ca 92840. Or send an email to mtortolano@ggjournal.com.
