I met this guy last year. We had a nice conversation, and had coffee together. I don’t have much experience with dating, and I was happy when he asked for my e-mail address.
We started exchanging emails and getting to know each other. He said that he wanted to see me again, and I was so happy.
We went out to dinner, and then went to the beach and had a nice walk and talk. I thought that we were really enjoying each other’s company. I had not had that much fun in a long time.
After our fun night out, we still emailed, but it felt different. His emails were distant and impersonal.
He finally did not answer my last e-mail. That was two months ago.
I am wondering if I did anything wrong. The only thing I can think of is that my cell phone rang three times while we were together, and I answered it each time. I didn’t talk very long though.
I really like this guy, and would like to see him again. It is not every day that I meet someone that I feel like I can connect with.
I don’t want to forget about him. What should I do?
I’m afraid that it is time for you to realize that it is quite likely that he will not be asking you out again.
In the fun and sometimes confusing world of dating, it is quite common for one person to like the other person, while unfortunately the other person doesn’t feel the same way.
That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with the first person. It just means that they didn’t feel the same connection.
Having said that, you definitely made a mistake in answering your cell phone. It was rude.
It also signaled to your date that you would rather talk to your other friends, however briefly, than to spend time getting to know him better.
That clearly was not what you meant to be saying to him, but that is just as clearly how he interpreted it.
So, the next time you go out with a new guy, leave the phone home! Focus on him alone.
Learn from this mistake, and hopefully the next time, there will be a happier result.
I am living with my aunt. She is driving me crazy. We have been living together for the past six months.
She has never been married, and she has never had children. She held a job at one time, but she is not currently working.
We live in a house that belongs to my grandmother. Neither of us pays rent, since it is a family home.
My aunt has been living here for the past two years. She seems to forget that it is not her house, but that it is my grandmothers.
She is constantly bossing me around. She is always telling me to clean up my room, and do the dishes, and vacuum and dust the living room.
I will admit that I am not the tidiest person in the world, but I am certainly not a slob either. She just wants the place straightened up more often than I do.
Frankly, she is an extremely high maintenance individual.
Do you think that I should move out, so that I can live in peace? The downside, of course, is that I would have to start paying rent.
I do not make a lot of money, and it would be a financial burden to pay rent. Maybe I could find a roommate, so I could share expenses.
Or, do you think that I should save my money, and continue living in a situation that is less than perfect?
Signed, Yearning For A Place Of My Own
Dear Yearning For A Place Of My Own,
While I can sympathize with your desire for freedom, since it would be a financial burden to move out, I suggest that you stay there for a while.
In the meantime, you need to do two things. The first is to make a financial plan, so that you will be able to move out in the future.
The second thing is to try to have a more pleasant time while you are living with your aunt.
As far as the financial plan, since you are not paying rent, use that to your advantage.
Save as much as you can. Do not spend your money on “extras” such as eating out frequently and shopping for more than your necessities.
Keep in mind that the more money you save, the sooner that you will be able to more comfortably move out on your own.
When you are financially able to find your own place, determine if a roommate is the best choice for you. You don’t want to have exactly the same dilemma, but with a different person!
As far as your current living situation, try to handle it with grace and a sense of humor. Talk to your aunt and see if you can reach a compromise.
Ask her if you really try to keep the rest of the house spic and span, if she will agree to she ease off on nagging you about the condition of your bedroom.
Hopefully she will agree, and the two of you will be able to live together more peacefully.
Dear Readers, please send your questions to Dear Marilyn c/o Garden Grove Journal, 12866 Main St. #203, Garden Grove, Ca.92840. Or send an email to Dear Marilyn at Mtortolano@ggjournal.com.