I am engaged to a wonderful guy. We are very much in love, and I can’t wait until we are married.
We have the same views on just about everything, from politics to religion. We even both want to have a family in a few years. We laugh all of the time, and we enjoy the same things.
The problem is there is something that I have not told him about. The issue is that I am very much in debt. There is a good chance that I am about to lose my house.
I am struggling to pay my monthly bills. I have a reasonably good job, but I made some poor financial decisions in the past, and I don’t make enough money each month to pay all of my bills.
I am afraid to tell him. I don’t want to lose him. I have learned from my mistakes, and I will never get myself in this situation again.
I know that I should tell him. But I am afraid. I don’t want him to think less of me.
On the other hand, I wonder if we were married if he would become obligated to my existing debt. I don’t think that he would, but I’m not sure.
I am thinking that if I let my house go, I will be OK financially. If I did that, I could pay for the rest of my bills. However, it’s going to mess up my credit rating.
What should I do? I would be so happy if it were not for this one issue. My family and friends don’t know about this mess that I am in.
It is a secret that I have been keeping from everyone. Can you give me some advice? I should be so happy, but instead I am scared.
You have taken a very difficult situation, and you have made it worse. You know it. I can’t give you any advice that will make it easier.
Tell your fiancé about your financial issues, and tell him as soon as possible. He needs to know.
It is true that it is possible that you may lose him. But you will gain nothing by keeping your secret.
A marriage is a partnership. He may decide that he does not want to be your partner after all.
You don’t say if you have lied to him about your finances, or if you have just not discussed them. This is a big issue. Either way, you can’t avoid this any longer.
Once your secret is out, you will know how things stand with you. He may be supportive. He may want to work with you to solve your financial problems.
Or, he may decide this is not something that he wants. It may not be your financial situation that troubles him so much, but rather the fact that you have kept the situation from him.
Either way, then your next move will be to go to a financial counselor. You can get assistance and advice as to what you can do.
Tell him, and tell him now. It is only then that you will be able to move on, one way or the other.
I am 26 years old. I am an on again, off again, student. I don’t have the slightest clue as to what I want to do with my life or my career.
I have enough credits to enroll in a state college as a junior. However, I will have to declare a major. I guess that I could go with something kind of general, like a Communications major, and hope that I figure things out along the way.
I just wish that I could wave a magic wand, and “poof” I would be filled with dreams and desires for my perfect job.
I know that I don’t want to sit in an office all day. I would be so bored. Yet, I want to make enough money to pay for a home and a car and all of life’s necessities.
What do you think that I should do?
You need to set yourself some goals. You need to be realistic, as well. If you don’t, it is very likely that you will find yourself graduated, and still have no idea what you want to do.
I can give you this advice though. When you get a job, the work will be hard. It is not meant to be fun. The fact that you are worried about being bored is a clue that you really don’t understand that.
Of course it is great when a person enjoys his or her job. That is a reasonable expectation. But the reality is that all jobs have times that are interesting, and times that are more routine. Yes, there are times they may even be dull.
You may not find your dream job. You may have to sit at a desk. Or, you may find yourself at a job that requires working at night, or weekends. Those are harsh realities.
When you are ready to accept these realities, you will have a stronger chance of succeeding at your job. Wandering through school at your age is something that needs to stop.
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