Don Alexander
I was just thinking that if I made $25 million a year for five years, like Josh Hamilton and the Angels just announced, how would that affect my Christmas shopping budget?
I guess I would buy Gayle anything she wanted. But you run out of things to buy at $1 million, don’t you?
If I thought we get a lot of catalogues now, wait until she shops one season. They’ll need trucks to bring the magazines next year!
Gayle says she would buy a fancy airplane with a handsome pilot at her beckand-call. I said, “You mean at our beck-and-call?” She didn’t answer.
Then I’d have tulips delivered every day. She might get tired of them after 365 deliveries. I’ll limit them to Christmas time.
Of course, I’d buy her tickets to every sporting event I want to go to. I’m still guilty I bought my mom a basketball for Christmas when I was 10. But I’m sure Gayle would love to go to all those games, especially if our pilot went too.
I would have to raise my expectations too. I want more than the marshmallow puff gun I asked for this year. You can get that at Bed, Bath and Beyond, by the way. It’s on sale!
But I know Gayle would go nuts with a non-budget Christmas. And think of my sports columns when I can buy big interviews? And I could buy the real Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer to guide my real sleigh with real reindeer. What a ball I’d have!
What I don’t want is that football game you plug in and the “players” go on a vibrating football field. I thought that was the stupidest game there ever was as a kid and I saw it the other day still for sale! I’d buy that company and take it off the market!
I would try to endure playing baseball six months a year for $25 million each year. The other six months I would try and figure out how to spread the money around all the local banks so I don’t exceed the $100,000 per bank insured limits.
I could build the fancy football field I want in Garden Grove for the high schools and other teams. I could name it after ME! I could paint my name on a seat on the 50-yard line! What a hoot that would be!
I would send at least a million each to Garden Grove city and school district. They could spend the money on any sports-related activities. Hey, if stem cell can do it, so can I!
Of course the kids and grandkids would really benefit. Wouldn’t it be fun if one of their Christmas gifts were a $1,000 bill? Is there a $20,000 bill?
Gayle and I could shop at the exclusive stores. You know, the ones where I said the clothes are really the same as in the cheap stores but they soak the rich? I’m sure I could learn to appreciate the difference after a while.
I think I would take the grandkids shopping, one at a time. They play with stuff I never even heard of! I don’t even understand the directions on some of these electronic gadgets. But I would love to say, “Okay Julie, you have a $10,000 limit!”
The adult kids would get big checks. They are all wonderful and deserving. I guess I could do this for five years, at least. It’s like winning the lottery!
I asked sports fans to write me about what they are getting their someone special for the holidays. I got several telling me I should think about the less privileged and I do that though our family and Rotary contributions.
But one local banker said she was going to surprise “Carlos” with two tickets to the Holiday Bowl on 12-27. She said, “My perfect gift for my dear friend (dare I use the “B” word…..boyfriend? ???) The game’s in San Diego.
Anyway, UCLA is playing Baylor. The second best bowl this year. The first? The Sun Bowl that features USC on Dec. 31. You have to travel to El Paso, Texas, but it’s nice this time of year.
Contact Don Alexander at Journaldon@aol.com and tell me what you want for Christmas. Although after the above, I’m out of money!
